According to sources close to the project, Google plans to launch a cutting-edge, neuromarketing technology late this spring.  Over the past few months Google and San Luis Obispo-based interactive marketing firm, HATHWAY teamed up to research a new marketing technology using Google Fiber and social media. In an accidental turn of events, the research led to the creation of a neuromarketing technology with the ability to route advertisements directly into the human brain.

After Google partnered with NeuroFocus in 2008, there was no denying their fascination with the human brain and it’s reaction to advertising. Google teamed up with HATHWAY due to their reputation for interactive marketing excellence and location in the happiest place in America. The two began to research Google Fiber and test a variety of technologies with a shocking outcome.

The new technology was discovered after a freak accident involving a mouse, some cheese whiz and an exposed broadband fiber cable.  HATHWAY and Google engineers quickly realized the discovery’s potential, leading to new Google Labs project; code name LEO. LEO is the most shocking discovery since Pluto’s demotion to dwarf planet.

How it works:

The Google Fiber cables have an effective brain-tapping-reach-radius of 100 feet. A company may purchase ad space on an active grid using GPS. When a person enters the ad space it triggers a Google Decisional Reaction ™ in which Google Fiber taps into a search query in the human brain and returns the most relevant results to assist in decision making. The Google Decisional Reaction ™ algorithm takes into account account factors like: Facebook “Likes,” Twitter Follows, and Randy Jackson’s favorites, so you can be sure to make the most relevant choice.

The aftermath:

Sources confirm a secret meeting between HATHWAY executives and Google VP, Marissa Mayer on February 24, 2011 in the oh-so-happy, San Luis Obispo. Soon after the meeting HATHWAY took a step back from the project with an ethical revival.

“I couldn’t go through with it, knowing how diabolical their plan was,” said HATHWAY chief marketing and sales officer, Kevin Rice. "If I was standing at a vending machine, deciding which soda to buy, I wouldn't want Google influencing me to purchase Coke Zero because my idol, Justin Beiber tweeted about it last week. It’s just not ethical.”

In a related story, it appears The Betty Ford Clinic and the Mustang Ranch are in fierce negotiations with Google to purchase the rights to a first position ad space within Charlie Sheen.

In other unrelated news, a large number of Kansas City residents have strangely begun following the San Francisco Giants.